Why I don’t need a dog January 18, 2012

So people are telling me that we should get a dog because it would be good for the kids. My response is usually something like, “I already have five monkeys living at home, why would I want a dog?” Most days, the way my kids act rival that of a crazy canine. Just tonight, for example, Chevy (2) yacked at the dinner table…on the dinner table. He had stuffed at least 8 grapes in his mouth after barely chewing a bite of sandwich. The sound effects were amazing–think of the Christmas Vacation scene where the dog is under the table yacking up a bone.

After dinner, we weren’t qick enough to put the Cheetohs away. Chevy walks by the table, grabs the corner of the bag and poof! Cheetohs all over the floor. I turn around to see him on his hands and knees, face first licking crunchy orange crumbs off the floor.

A little later Hudson comes downstairs with his play gun with laser. He turns the living room lights off and wiggles the red beam of light all around the floor. Chevy giggles and chases the red light until he falls on the floor. Is there any question why I do not have any longing for a dog?

one-and-a-half-year-old vocabulary June 19, 2011

Tonight, when I was reading Chevy (1 1/2 years old) his animal books before bed, he was excitedly repeating the names of most of the animals. I just have to write down his pronunciation before it slips out of my head forever.
Monkey = “munt-nee”
Elephant = “eff-funt”
Fish = “feece”
Pony = “Pooh-nee”
Turkey = “toe-key”
Rooster = “Cuck-DOO”

Baby Number Five! June 4, 2011

We just had our ultrasound for baby number five. As I’ve been saying, this pregnancy was one of those unexpected blessings, and so we had thought that for this one, we might just find out the gender. Well, I guess I’m just a sucker for surprises, I just couldn’t bring myself to let the ultrasound tech announce it to us. Instead, we asked her to print out a picture and seal it in an envelope. We thought maybe we’d surprise everyone (and ourselves) and find out on Father’s Day. Or maybe not.

The funny thing is, the envelope is sitting right next to me on the computer desk and I have no urge to open it and find out. I have less restraint when new email pops into my inbox. I guess in my mind not knowing the gender is all part of the wonder of pregnancy and it makes delivery that much sweeter. Carrying the baby for nine months, I get so used to the little kicks and punches and I feel like I know him/her by the time s/he’s born. I know I already love him/her.

So maybe we’ll choose to find out sometime in the next 4 months. Or maybe we’ll just let him/her surprise us one last time.

facing forward

Baby's foot

 

Baby's profile

Baby's profile #2

 

Mommy Issues April 25, 2011

One evening, after coming home from a long day at work and struggling to make dinner while paying attention to four kids, Chevy (1 1/2) was clingier and whinier than normal. I’d pick him up, snuggle him for a bit, but whenever I’d put him back down, he’d scream “MAMA!” and cry. Finally, after several minutes of this, I realized I HAD to get dinner started, so I started to walk from the living room to the kitchen. Chevy wrapped his little body around my leg, screamed “MAAAAA-MAAAAA! WAAAAAAAH!”

Ford (4 1/2), who had been sitting quietly on the couch, hopped down, walked past Chevy and said, “You have sewious mommy issues.”

A few minutes later…

The TV remote was lost. (Not an unusual occurance in our house.) Since I was STILL trying to make dinner, I didn’t want to stop to take time to look for it. Plus, I was pretty sure I was NOT the one who had lost it. So, I told the kids that whoever finds the remote will get a special something from mommy. (I was thinking hugs and kisses and praise, and maybe a stick of gum.) I overheard Hudson (8 1/2) in the playroom say to Ford, “Ford, if you find the TV remote, you can play the Wii!”

I did not want to have to make good on that promise if Ford did find the remote. And I did not want to deal with the temper tantrum that would ensue if he found the remote and I didn’t let him play the Wii. I said, “Hudson, you know we don’t play the Wii during the week. No one will get to play the Wii, even if you find the remote.”

Hudson replied, “Good job, Mama. You ruined the moment! Ford had been looking for the remote and now he stopped!”

A couple hours later, after repeatedly (like 5 times each) telling Hudson and Ford “no” they cannot play the Wii tonight…

Ford walks up to me as I was playing upstairs with Chevy. He says to me sweetly, “Mama, Hudson an’ I will give you FWEE dah-wers if you wet us pway ‘da Wii.” I couldn’t say no to that. And I couldn’t take their money (not like they had it anyway.)

And just before bed…

I asked Hudson to bring Chevy over to me for a diaper change and PJs before bed. Hudson grabbed Chevy under the arms and staggered across the room to me. After setting Chevy down, Hudson said, “He’s REALLY heavy! I’m getting old.”

bad deals and strange questions January 12, 2011

Tonight at dinner, Hudson (8 1/2) said to me, “I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to let me be the boss all day on Saturday, except you still have to take care of Chevy, and make breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

I replied, “what would you do as boss?”
“Have us play Wii all day, eat whatever we want…”

I said, “It doesn’t sound like a very good deal for me. What’s in it for me?”
Hudson replied, “On Sunday, I’ll let you have the day off.”

Later on, after seeing a LifeLock commercial, he asked me, “Mama, can I see my card that I got when I was born? The one that has the numbers on it?”

“Your social security card?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see if I’m Jewish.”

WHO’S the boss??? December 17, 2010

Tonight, the kids heard me mention something about my new job. Concerned about how they might be impacted, they started firing questions at me.

Quickly realizing that I had been wrong to assume they were too young to understand or care about my “work world,” I tried to simply explain what was different about my job now. “Yes, I’m working in the same office… Yes, I have the same boss…what’s new is that now I’m a boss.”

Hudson said with a little bit of awe, “You’re a boss at work?!?!”

Kirk, the smart @$$, asked the kids, “Where else is mommy a boss?”

Hudson said, “no where.”

“You just earned yourself some brownie points,” I told him. Then, just to make myself feel better about my bossy reputation, I asked, “So I’m not the boss at home?”

Hudson said matter-of-factly, “No, I’m the boss at home.”

Ford asked what a boss was, and I explained that it’s my job to organize people’s work and make sure everyone is doing a good job. Again, Kirk piped up, “she tells other people what to do.”

Hudson asked, “so…are YOU going to be doing any work, then?”

Human biology according to a four-year-old December 10, 2010

Yesterday morning, Ford (4) came downstairs and announced,
“I fixed my pwugged nose.”

“How did you do that?” I asked.

“Fuwst, I went into da bafwoom, washed my hands, den I picked a cwumb out of my nose and dat fixed my pwugged nose.”

A few minutes later, he goes into the downstairs bathroom and gets out his toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash.
“I hafta bwush my teef cuz I got teef bohns (teeth burns).”

Can’t argue with that.

A Griswold Christmas November 29, 2010

The kids help put the Christmas tree up this weekend. So, between the marti gras beads flung all over the tree (at kid-height-level), the empty spot at the bottom where Chevy has been pulling off all the decorations, and the large number of breakable ornaments clustered together at the top, it looks like Walmart blew up all over our tree.

To top it off, we went a bit crazier with the Christmas lights this year. I know it’s not like some of those 500,000 light-carnival-houses with the blow up santa elmo and dancing coke bears. But for us, it was a lot of lights! My mom was calling my husband “Kirk Griswold,” and commenting that the neighbors are complaining because it’s “too bright to fall asleep.” The kids love it, which is totally the reason why we did it… I don’t think a day will pass between now and December 25th that we won’t have some sort of Christmas music blasting in our home.

a good reason for more candy November 21, 2010

Ford (four years old) : “Mama, can I have anah-vo (another) piece of candy?”

Me: “But you just had a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup from your Halloween candy!”

Ford: “I know. But I can’t feew dah taste anymoh.” (I can’t feel the taste anymore!)

How could I say no to that?

An 8-year-olds Christmas list November 19, 2010

Tonight, on the way home from Ford’s tumbling class, Hudson was going through his list of all the things he wants for Christmas this year. After the obvious Wii games and Lego requests, he started getting creative:

“..rocket shoes for everyone in our family so we can all fly places together.”

“…a hat that gives me all the answers to my school work. I would wear it to school, it would read my tests. I would press a button and it would shine the answer on the inside of the hat where only I would see it.”

“…a tube of slippy stuff. I would pour it on cement, that way I could slide around on cement without my feet burning.”

“…the ability to fly.”

“..a bucket of tar, so I can pour it on the floor of my bedroom. People will walk in, their feet will get stuck, they will fly out of their shoes and fall into the bathroom.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he probably won’t get any of those things this year.